Loving the Church is Not Leaving - 25

Or, if you do, it is to leave lovingly.

You should love the Church – its members – in all cases, even when you depart from her. It is a sin to leave your church in a manner that does not demonstrate a continued love for its members. Any man that grows to be an elder in the church must, certainly, be a lover of its people.

In the first century, we learn of a wonderful Christian woman in the church at Joppa. Her name was Dorcas. She died and it broke the hearts of the members of her church. In verses 38 & 39 of Acts 9 it says, “All the widows stood around him (Peter), crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas had made while she was still with them.” The other widows loved this dear sister. Her departure caused them great pain.

That is as it should be.

In another instance, we find church elders from Asia greatly affected by the Apostle Paul’s announcement that he planned to depart from them. Look at the love that was on display by these grown men. Acts 20:37-38 says, “They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship.”

That is love.

The widows wept over the departure of Dorcas. The elders grieved over the departure of Paul. In neither case did Dorcas or Paul want to leave. In neither case was there any ill will. This is to say, that if and when you depart from your local visible congregation, you must leave Her lovingly. Even if you leave for illegitimate reasons, you should love Her.

Some further warnings for those who want to LOVE the Church:

1. If you love Her you will not leave the Church by just disappearing. In other words, it is not love to decide one day to up-and-stop attending. What kind of love for the church allows you to drop off the face of the map? What kind of family member would willingly disappear without saying a word?

Who would believe that a father loves his children if he just decides to walk away from his marriage and home and abandon his family? It is irresponsible. It is careless. It is selfish.

Rather, love demands communication. Love demands consideration. Love wants what is best for others. Like a good teammate, you cannot quit playing and leave the other members of your team to fend for themselves.

2. If you love the Church then you will not leave her in an act of self-righteousness. This means the leaver thinks he or she is more holy in their behavior, or more doctrinally precise than the others.

The person (or family) has decided that their current church colleagues have not lived up to their level of holiness, or have not attained their level of Scriptural knowledge. And so, they reason, if they continue with this body of Christians, they will pollute themselves. And so they move on to a purer Bride of Christ, one that they feel they can respect and join.

Frankly, there is no love to be found in the pursuit of perfectionism. Actually, the thing you learn about people who exhibit this (purist) kind of behavior is that they are not even pursuing God’s righteousness as much as self-righteousness. Otherwise, what should they do? They should stick around where they are needed – among sinners who need their Scriptural and behavioral support!

John Calvin remarked how easy it is to fall into this trap of self-righteousness, saying, “[E]ven the good are sometimes affected by this inconsiderate zeal for righteousness, though we shall find that this excessive moroseness is more the result of pride and a false idea of sanctity, than genuine sanctity itself, and true zeal for it. Accordingly, those who are the most forward, and, as it were, leaders in producing revolt from the Church, have, for the most part, no other motive than to display their own superiority by despising all other men.”

Wow!

3. If you love the Church you should not leave the Church in an effort to escape from the correction and accountability of the elders. Some people refuse the request of elders. They flee when the elders instruct them to do something that would require some form of submission and humility.

Yet, what are the marks of the true Church? There are three things that Christ wishes to perform in His Church. He made Her to preach God’s Word, administer the Sacraments and govern men to make them holy. And Jesus Christ saw fit for the Apostles to establish elders as God’s office-bearers over the local congregations. The elders are to serve as under-shepherds for Christ.

And so Christ’s office-bearers are to preach and teach. They are to administer the Supper and govern the souls of the Church members. This means, then, any attempt to leave the Church because you do not want to be corrected or held accountable, demonstrates defiance toward Christ’s authority structure, a disregard for the local congregation, which is ultimately to disrespect the Bride of Christ rather than love Her.